i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
Randomize
