So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
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