That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
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