if i can run in heels then i can drive
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
Randomize
