im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
Randomize
