my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
You are a genius and a whore.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
Randomize
