ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
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