I hate your face
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
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