do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
Randomize
