Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
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