...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize
