I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
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