I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
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