This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize