Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
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