PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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