that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
