Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
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