How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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