Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize