its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
Randomize
