im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
Randomize
