i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
Randomize
