sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
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