Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
Randomize
