I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Randomize
