then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
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