Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
i already hear my dad disowning me
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
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