yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
How does it feel to date your dad?
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
Randomize