who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
