and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Randomize
