Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
