You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Randomize
