I just made out with a guy for $7.
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
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