ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
