you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
Randomize
