I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
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