Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
you will always have a special place in my vag
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
Randomize
