So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
Randomize
