Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Randomize
