you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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