We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
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