so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
Randomize
