Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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