someone owes me an orgasm
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Randomize
