If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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