8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
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