So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
Randomize
