your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
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