North Korea, Best Korea!
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
Randomize
