I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
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