Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Randomize
