your thong is hanging out like whoa
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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