all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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