i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
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