I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Randomize
