Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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