it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
My bed smells like the plague
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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