being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
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