he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
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