Umm I'm too high to move.
Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
Randomize
