I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
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