It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Randomize
