We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Randomize
