who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
Randomize
