we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize
