yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
