i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
Randomize
