Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
