We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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